Sarah Palin photoshopped In Video Games?

Now that Vice President nominee Sarah Palin has been battle tested with the debate, why not put her in some video game battles too? She brought destruction to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in the remake of the All Your Base video and here is what else we have come up with so far. I think she makes a better Lara Croft than Cortana. Which candidate gets your vote? Any new nominees? Maybe both Democrats and Republicans can agree on one?

Click the URL to see the original website and more images

Always be on time!

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner. A local politician and member of the congregation was to give a speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words while they waited.
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people '
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately started his speech. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'

Women Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

Humour in Hard Time

I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show . If you get any email from Washington asking for Money it is scam. Donot fall for it -Jay Leo

Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are . Wall street is now being called wall mart street

The difference between a pigeon and london investment banker The pigeon can still make a deposit on BMW

Q : What is the difference between a guy who lost everything in Vegas and an investment banker
A :A tie

Q: What does AIG stand for

A : American innocence and greed

The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on he left side nohing is right and on right side nothing is left

I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank.

Top Sarcastic Police Comments

1. You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’
2. ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They stretch after awhile.’
3. ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’
4. ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
5. ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
6. ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’
   
7. ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?’
8. ‘Warning! You want a warning? OK., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.’
9. ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’
10. ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’
11. ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven .’
12. ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’
13. ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’
14. ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’
15. ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
    
16. ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.’

Barack Obama Don't Know Shit

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”

Unbelievable but true 15 images

Never get arreseted while wearing these Shirts

After an all night drinking binge things went a little too far. You find yourself in jail holding up a sign and getting a picture you will never forget. As much as this bites, at least you aren’t these guys… or are you?

Better hope you’re in jail for less than that.

Arrested Drunks go to jail.

Except in this case.

No, but you are awesome.

Bambi: Kmart by day, Stripper by night

Say that to the judge.

Better hope you aren’t sharing a cell with one.

He must have been busy…your whole life.

Please check these 15 Signs that your spouse is trying to kill you.

How do you know that you’re spouse isn’t trying to kill you? This is serious, damn it. Over 10,000,000,000 people are killed by their spouses every day! But don’t worry. We’ll help you look for the signs